you lucky duck! this is a secret page! it's my cartoon portrait of the rimsky-korsakoffee house.

rimskies is one of my favorite secrets in portland. my friend debby told me about it before i ever saw oregon. she gave away all the surprises except how to get there. rimskys is inside of a bermuda triangle. even with the address in hand, i passed it several times before finding it. inside, there is a list of things one has to do to be their customer. number one is "find us." i've taken several people there. even at the doorstep, they ask "where are you going? what are you doing? we can't go in there!"

the surprises at rimskys are dreamy. i'm too polite to ruin them for you but, if you never intend to go, you can read about them by clicking and dragging from here:::

seriously, you don't ever want to go to rimsky-korsakoffee house? well, that's a shame because you will miss out. if you stay there long or go there often, you will notice more and more magical nuances. the wallpaper, for instance, seems to be one pattern but there is a man hidden in it. a broom with arms and legs rests in one corner. a gumball machine dispenses poetry. every inch of the stairwell is plastered with photographs from glossy books and magazines. the bathroom is painted to feel underwater. a fishhook hangs from ripples on the ceiling and a mermaid offers toilet paper. what amuses me most are the tables. they drift. one sinks into the wall. one sinks into floor. one spins so slowly that you won't even notice your sundae, called a ship smashed against the rocks, spiralling the table without you. now, seriously, don't you want to see it? there's no shame in admitting it. just pretend you never read this. :::to here.

so, you want to go, huh? bravo. here's the address: 707 s.e. twelfth avenue, portland, oregon 97214. there are communal sketchbooks in the vestibule. if you look through them all, you'll find a portrait of everyone i ever went there with. like this one of gretchen.